I Decided To Bet On Myself -

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I Decided To Bet On Myself

August 24, 2017

resilience in the face of adversity
5 mindset shifts to make right away
busy vs. productive
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Hey there, I'm James Silvas. Host of the Be That 1% Podcast and Peak Performance Coach. 

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Estimated Read Time: 15 Minutes

Post Overview:

  • How Be That 1% was created.
  • What really goes on in your head.
  • How a book changed my life.
  • Why you should bet on yourself.
  • My challenge to you.

 

“You’re not good enough.”

“You don’t have enough money.”

“You’re too young.”

“You’ll never be successful.”

“Who’s going to want to listen to you?”

“You’re not cut out for this.”

“What if you fail?” 

 

What happens when someone says these statements to you? Do you get defensive? Do you prove them wrong? Do you get angry, sad, depressed? Nothing?

Well, what happens if you’re the one saying these statements to yourself? These were the thoughts that circulated my mind.

Research suggests that 70% of our self talk is negative. We are constantly talking ourselves out of great opportunities, sabotaging relationships, damaging business deals etc. and if we aren’t careful, we will talk ourselves into hating the way we live our life. 

Why do we do this? Well, if we trace those negative thoughts back to their origins, where do they come from?

FEAR.

INSECURITY

PAIN. 

The voice that whispers, “you’re not enough” is preventing you from taking a risk so you don’t have the option of failure, that way the mind will remain in tact. Your mind can’t stand the feeling of being a “failure”, being “ridiculed”, and feeling “embarrassed” so it justifies an excuse as to why you can’t.

 

Your mind creates a story that is so compelling, you are certain that you can’t do what your body and mind are capable of doing.

 

If this story continues, if we continue to listen to this fear, we end up living more of it. We end up becoming something we’re not, allowing our potential to fall though our hands like running water.

We end up becoming jealous of the people who are brave enough or strong enough to do the things we wish we could do.

Little do we know, that it’s our own mind that is feeding us a lie as to why we can’t accomplish. And as a result we end up creating a self fulfilling prophecy. 

Growing up as a quote-un-quote “achiever”, I was always on to the next achievement, never fully embracing the wins. I hardly appreciated the journey, which is in retrospect the best part. I felt that what I did was never good enough because I could always do better and be more.

 

My identity became more about what I did, rather than who I was.

How is that a problem? 

The problem for me was if my identity was about what I did and I always thought that I could do more and be more, then I never really felt solid in who I was. It meant that I briefly felt secure about who I was before starting to work toward the next level of ‘success.’ With this view of myself, I became a slave to results. The task or the end result I produced defined who I was. If I failed, I was a failure. If I succeeded, I was a success. 

My self worth was based off what I did rather than what I was.

This was around the time I started to personally develop. My girlfriend at the time, my wife now, asked me to read a book. I immediately shut that down. I hated reading. I hated sitting in one place and doing what seemed like nothing.

She repeatedly asked me until making her final offer, “If you read this one book, I’ll never ask you to read again”. That was an offer I couldn’t refuse. I opened it and never put it down.

 

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That book turned into another, then into 10, then 100 and now over 150. I have learned so much about the mind, the body, and what we are capable of. Over time my identity has started to shift from producing results to creating growth. This would become the foundation that I would build my business, Silvas Speaks, on. 

 

 

JAMES2

 

Having built the confidence to take action, I switched jobs, started earning more money and my income tripled in 3 months.

Wow, could your mindset really change your life that fast?

The answer is yes.

 

Now I found myself in a new dilemma. Stay for the money and security or leave to pursue your passion? 

 

This is one of the hardest things to do. Money is synonymous with security. It’s what we all need to take care of our families, pay our bills, go on nice vacations, and buy the things we need in our lives. To walk away from a sum that equals what most people make in 30 months in 8 months working 3 days a week is crazy. Who would do that? 

This was one of the hardest decisions I had to make. After talking with Amanda, my friends and family, I decided to take the leap and walk into the unknown.

 

I DECIDED TO BET ON MYSELF.

 

Betting on yourself takes enormous amounts of courage and there were days where I had to ‘borrow’ it. Those thoughts that I wrote at the beginning of the post are the same exact thoughts that went through my head. That was my daily battle.

Those thoughts were present every single day of my journey. They still are present today, I just have learned how to shift them faster and faster.

In my time of uncertainty, in the time where I had the most fear and was the most doubtful, I needed a phrase that could help me overcome my dark and most insecure moments.

 

A phrase that would inspire me and remind me to keep going.

THAT PHRASE WAS “BE THAT 1%.”

 

Do what 99% of the people won’t do. Do what they are scared to do. You be the one that changes. You be the one that makes a difference, you be the one that is courageous enough to say yes to your dream. Be the one that embraces who you are and believes that you have greatness in you and accept the responsibility of bringing it out to share with others. 

 

Screen Shot 2014-03-16 at 8.38.58 AM

(this was created March 2014)

 

That phrase has helped me build what I have today. It’s at the foundation of my business, my relationships, and the vision I have for my future self.

Truth is, in life, we all will “fail”. We all will make mistakes and we will all fall. Question is, will you “Be that one” that gets up? Will you “be that one” that conditions your mind to believe that regardless of your last success or failure you will make adjustments to get closer to your dream. 

When we can learn to create a solid base of confidence in ourselves then we can generate better odds of us succeeding on future tasks. When we realize we are what we tell ourselves and condition a positive self image, then our identities become constant, regardless of the outcome. We are then able to be appreciate more of the journey, live more in the moment, and strengthen our self awareness.

 


JAMES’S CHALLENGE

So next time that thought “I’m too old, too young, I don’t have enough money, I didn’t grow up in the right neighborhood and so on comes up, remember where it comes from.

Bring awareness to the fact that fear is active and it’s talking to you.

This is okay.

By you acknowledging the fear, it loses some of its potency; it weakens just enough for you to take action and destroy it. It gives you a window of opportunity to make a new choice. In that new choice is where a new behavior can be learned. It’s important to remember that when you get yourself to take action, there is a chance you won’t succeed and when that happens get up, shake it off, and get right back on the horse. 

So the real question becomes are you brave enough to say yes to you?

 

Will you allow yourself to be vulnerable and “risk” being seen in your most fearful moments?

Are you okay with saying I didn’t succeed, yet? 

If you are, the wisdom you will learn and the type of life you will have – will create a great story; one that will impact a lot of people. 

Dream Big. Take risks. Fail often. Take Action. Be Flexible. Have fun. Be you. 

 

Until Next Time,

Be Your Own 1% – James

 

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